Figuring out what's sincere from what's horseshit
on a daily basis is like walking through a field in Kosovo. Mistake
someone's intentions and it'll blow your fucking arm off. You
really have to apply game theory to every interaction you have.
You have to estimate the likelihood the person you're talking
with is sincere when he says "Nice shoes, asshole."
he really mean my shoes are nice? Or does he really mean I'm an
asshole. Let's put a 25% likelihood on the shoe part, and a 75%
likelihood on the ass part. Being complimented on my shoes is
very important to me, so I'll weigh that more heavily than being
called an asshole. Hell, I'm pretty used to being called that.
So, let's sum this interaction at about zero, neither a positive
or negative experience for me, and figure I owe the guy no response.
if I thought there was a greater likelihood he meant the shoes
part and lesser likelihood for the ass part. Then I'd have to
say "Thank you" with at least a 50% probability I was sincere.
On the other hand, if I thought his sincerities were the opposite,
I'd have to punch him in the face, or the nuts. But how hard?
What is the probability he'll punch back? What is the ratio of
his ratio of strength to mine? How fast can he run? Is society
better overall because I'm more likely to punch fat asthmatics
than teenagers? I think so.
what I mean? This is the reason I spend so much time in alone
in a basement: I hate all the math it takes to interact with people.
And even the simplest, most mundane transactions require me to
carry a pencil, paper and a calculator, like when the cashier
at Safeway asks "Paper or plastic, asshole?"
her in the face and run, or "Paper, please?" There is no easy
bring this up because I've been trying to put my finger on exactly
why I liked the clay animation movie Wallace and Gromit: Curse
of the Wererabbit as much as I did. I think it's because the
sincerity of Nick Park at Aardman Studios isn't in doubt. It's
like 95% or better. It's a kid's movie, but it's so sincere, non-condescending
and intelligent that I take it's modest efforts seriously. All
it wants to be is a good, funny movie with no pretense to anything
else, and that's fine.
and Gromit is a clay animation comedy starring a man and a
dog who apparently have a cult following that includes some of
the world's most annoying anglophiles. In it, Wallace is dimwit
obsessed with gadgets and Gromit is his common-sense, silent dog.
They run a humane pest control business in a town obsessed with
giant fruit. Rabbits are threatening many of the citizens' prized
vegetables just before a produce festival.
gets the idiotic idea of rehabilitating the rabbits by brainwashing
them. When trying to do so with his home invention he accidentally
creates a Were-Rabbit that comes out on full moons and devours
all the fresh vegetables it can find. Wallace and Gromit must
find and catch the giant rabbit in order for Wallace to win the
admiration of the pretty local land lady, and so that the villain
also after her hand doesn't kill it.
and Gromit is a simple story, taken mostly built bits of other
old monster movies and Ealing Studios comedies, then blended with
a bunch of nonsense. It's good, amusing nonsense, though, as opposed
to nonsense like when Worm from the Tavern glued some railroad
spikes to to an alpaca and tried to sell it as a unicorn. There
is a lot of what I'm sure the asshole Anglophiles will giddily
call "whimsy", but it's not really. The movie will appeal to some
of the most annoying people on the planet (e.g. self-absorbed
Lisa Schwarzbaum in Entertainment Weekly, who may have
topped all her previous efforts at pomposity and preciousness
with her review).
it's good in a way that opens the door for a bunch of phony fucking
assholes who were looking for an excuse to say "pip-pip" and "good
on you" and "Masterpiece Theater" and think somehow they're classing
up the joint with shit like that. But don't let that stop you
from enjoying it without getting all gooey about the crumbling,
overrated empire (fast than ours, even) across the sea. And don't
blame Director Nick Park for having asshole fans. And don't, like
that increasingly self-absorbed Schwarzbaum, think seeing it or
liking it gives you free license to tap into all that Limey quaintness
by saying "Cheerio" and "Toodle-loo." Unless you're the Harelip,
who yells "Toodle-loo, Poo!" loudly from the can every time she
takes a dump. And that, I have to admit, is sort of cute.
point I'm trying to make is that Curse of the Were-Rabbit
is good, and worth seeing, because the sincerity of creator Nick
Park and the characters carry it. Yeah, it's funny. sure, it's
slight and occasionally a little too cute. But, Wallace and Gromit
are pretty fun to hang out with. Plus, the movie is inventive
and interesting to look at without being purely an exercise in
high-tech clay animation. Hell, this ain't high-tech in any way;
you can see fingerprints in Wallace's nose. But, where The
Corpse Bride was fancy without being inventive or interesting,
this is the both interesting to watch and a lot of fun to watch.
They spent the money on the script, not on the efforts of a bunch
of overpriced Hollywood hacks.
result makes Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
a funny, small, sincere movie. So sincere, in fact, that you can
leave your calculators at home, so long as you use the automated
box offfice. Four Fingers.
Want to tell Filthy Something?