©2008 Big Empire Industries and Randy Shandis Enterprises
Every right imaginable is reserved.


I love getting e-mail. It means someone's reading. But remember a few guidelines:

  • If you want to report a typo or complain about my spelling and grammar, click here.
  • Please don't write and ask "Hey, what did you think of..." I don't sit here waiting to write special reviews for strangers, and I'm not interested in you trying to argue with me if your opinion is different than mine. If there isn't a review posted, then I'm not reviewing it for you.
  • If you want to e-mail me to tell me I have the wrong movie title in the header, or there is some minor HTML coding error, get a fucking life.
  • Don't ask me to review movies that have been out for several weeks or are on video already. Just like real critics do, I try to review new movies. Even if I'm not a real critic. (Yes, this means you. You aren't so fucking special that this doesn't apply to you, so don't start an e-mail "I know you said don't... but...")
  • Unless you are going to pay me a salary, don't tell me what movies to review. It's just fucking rude.
  • You don't have to swear as much as I do to get my attention.
  • Don't e-mail me just to tell me I'm an idiot. We already know that. If you disagree with my review, explain yourself. Put together a strong argument and give me a reason to reconsider what I said. Saying "You're fucking stupid" doesn't tell me any more than my mother would.
  • If you're a hot college co-ed and you're sending naked pictures of yourself, be discreet so the Mrs. doesn't find out.
  • I may not reply, and it's because either you pissed me off, I'm hungover, or I am too busy arguing with a teenager. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate the mail. I do
  • I am not a real critic. I have no special qualifications that make my opinions good enough to bolster your arguments, or that are worth getting all huffy about if you disagree. Your opinions are just as good, it's just that I have a web site.

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