Archives Ratings Mrs. Filthy Gooden Worsted

Here he is, our first two-time winner, Adam Sandler. He won last year, and he wins again this year. For those of you who enjoy Adam Sandler movies, just know you're being had. You're paying to see a man who doesn't give a rat's ass about you. This is a man who could be funnier, but then he wouldn't appeal to the absolute lowest common denominator, the people who go to the video store in sweatpants and flip-flops and who are afraid the latest Richard Gere movie might be too intellectual. If you like Adam Sandler, you're an idiot. Don't argue the point, accept it. Accept that you are just like the fucking retards at the cineplex who pick the movie they'll see by the showtimes because they'd rather see shit than wait an extra fifteen minutes.

Adam Sandler movies are not clever, they are not original, they all seem to lack any energy because Sandler sucks it off the screen in his "too-cool" posturing. The best thing of all is that Adam is setting himself up for the fall. Rather than make a great comedy, he is now trying to make sappier comedies with even broader appeal so he can make even more money. Not better movies, just cornier ones.

Ask yourself this before seeing any Adam Sandler movie: Would he take $5 million to make a great script or $20 million to make a shitty one? I know the answer, and I won't reward that asshole for being so greedy.

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