Mrs Filthy's "Real World" Review
November 16, 1999
The First Annual Mrs Filthy's Real World Survey
About the Audience
A sizable proportion of the respondents, 39 percent, had seen every single season of "The Real World." Eight years of angst! Sacre bleu, my readers are tough as nails! Out of all the seasons, Hawaii had the most watchers, but all of the seasons had been watched by more than half of the respondents. "Road Rules" is also popular with the RW audience- 72% of the respondents tuned in regularly to this hell-on-wheels (or this year, on water).
Overall, people seemed pretty receptive to the idea of being a "Real World" cast member. 66% of men and 47% of women thought they could handle several months in the hot glare of the cameras. Interestingly enough, the percentage of people who yearned to be a cast member increased with the number of people per household. That makes sense; if you're used to a house full of folks, six obnoxious roomies might not be such a big deal.
About "The Real World"
Location isn't everything, however. When asked which season would be the best one to be a cast member, it seemed that the perks of a Camp Bunim/Murray lifestyle had to balance with how irritating your fellow cast members were. For instance, the swingin' pad in Hawaii would've been enough to compensate for Ruthie's drunkenness and Matt's budding stalkerhood, but even the Miami mansion wasn't enough to make up for Flora.
Duckies, if I've learned one thing from this program, it's that there's a vast difference between being fun to watch and tolerable to endure. For pure voyeuristic pleasure, the latest season came out on top but was closely followed by San Francisco. Season II, Los Angeles, seems to be at the bottom of everyone's list.
And, what does it take to turn the audience against a given RW season? A boring cast with no drama? A hideously whiny cast? No crises, too many crises? There's something for everyone on the Least Favorite RW Season list.
At last, we come to the Hall of Fame and the Hall of Shame. I was intrigued to note that people love to hate "The Real World" so much that the favorite cast member of all time was "Nobody." Ouch!
The Top Ten Favorite "Real World" Cast Members
of All Time
Really, no cast member had much of a lead over the others, except in one case. You guessed it, mes petites chous, Puck was far and away the least favorite cast member ever. Entertainment is short-lived, but annoyance lasts forever.
The Ten Least Favorite "Real World" Members of
About Season VIII
However, Justin still has a hefty lead on the list of least favorite cast members this year. He was especially disliked by the female respondents, while Matt was the least favorite among the male respondents.
The next four questions were specially formulated to isolate the specific strengths and weaknesses of each cast member. For instance, Justin seems like a bright enough lad, so you might not mind working with him if your grades or your job were at stake. However, only a wee handful of the respondents thought he was kiss-worthy. (Justin, in case you read this, you might want to change your image a little. For some strange reason, twice as many women than men were willing to kiss you. Not a successful dating strategy, my little imp.)
Out of filial respect, most people chose the most clean-cut cast members to introduce to the folks, so it comes as no surprise that Colin, a.k.a. "Champion of the Bland," was the winner. Only a few of you bad seeds out there wanted your mom and dad to experience Kaia or Ruthie. As one of you noted, "I have issues with my parents."
I expected to see Colin in the number one slot on the "America's Most Kissable" list. After all, a week didn't go by that I didn't receive some sort of "Ode to Colin's Marble Pecs" from one of you. The rest of the list was determined by each cast member's likelihood to have cooties, methinks.
The question about which cast member you would eat first if stranded measured two things, really- the amount and quality of the meat on said cast member's bones and how much you disliked said cast member. I knew Amaya would win this one on the former count by a long shot. The fact that Justin came second is a testament to his unpopularity. He's a skinnybones, for heaven's sake!
However, one astute observer brought up the point that Ruthie is well-marinated, and so she might provide the tastiest dish. Bon appetit!
This year, Ruthie dominates everyone's memories, even if she isn't the most kissable or annoying or edible. Why? Her little rumble with Demon Rum in the very first episode set the tone for the rest of the season, and raised the bar for irresponsible Real Worlder behavior for ever after.
The Top Ten Most Memorable Moments of Season VIII
Of course, there were other precious moments, too. Such phrases as "Hasta Pasta" and "Chilly-Willy-Will" have been officially added to the RW lexicon. The increased amount of partial nudity also received a fair amount of attention. Or, what about the time that Amaya invited herself to dinner with Matt and Colin, and spent the entire evening staring over at their table? That's darn good television.
For some, reality just isn't good enough, however. Some of the respondents relished ambiguity, such as the reader who chose "the one where the girl with a problem has more problems, and everyone has advice" as his favorite episode. If I found an episode that didn't meet that description, THAT would be memorable. Others made up their own memorable moments; these usually involved tsunamis, volcanoes or other natural disasters wiping out the entire cast. One especially creative fan even predicted the futures of these seven troubled youths. I'll give you a hint: Matt dies pathetically at the hands of foreign kidnappers and Colin becomes assistant manager at Circuit City.
We've reached the end of my little experiment. I want to thank
all of you who responded to this survey. You're so adorable to
help me out like this! I'm already looking forward to next season.