A Very Special Report
We aren't parents here at the Gift Electronique, neither do we claim to
care much about society or our neighbors. But when people bitch and moan
in our ears for long enough, we decide to do something about it. Kids, people
hypothesize, are far more violent and desensitized to crime and assault
than the children of just a few days ago. They're growing up too fast, claim
parents. They don't have time to mature and learn to respect their elders.
Well, we decided to test these hypotheses. We wanted to know just how violent
today's kids are, or how violent they might be. The Gift Electronique
found a randon sample of two kids in a local park and gave them a gun. To
keep the test's integrity pure, we furnished the gun to the kids at no cost
and supplied them with enough ammunition to start World War III. We asked
the two kids to keep a journal of the following days, and have included
that journal here as part of our research.
NOV. 4 - Me and Mal were playing basketball when that creepy guy
with the greasy hair and is always hanging around came up to us. He smelled
bad but he gave us a gun. He said we could do whatever we thought was right
with the gun and not to worry because he was an adult and would take care
NOV. 6 - I accidentally shot the tip of my finger off with that gun.
The creepy guy was around again and asked how things were going. I showed
him my hand and he gave me five dollars and told me not to tell anyone.
NOV. 7 - Mal shot his sister and killed her. His parents don't know
yet, so we buried her in the mud by the channel.
NOV. 8 - Today I killed my first person. This old guy was yelling
at Mal and me and I had the gun in my backpack. I pulled it out and shot
him. It did not look like in Virtual Fighter at the arcade. Now I feel kind
of sick to my stomach.
NOV. 9 - Mal stole the gun from me. His parents found out about his
sister so he killed them both. I refused to help bury them. Now he says
he is going to kill me.
NOV. 10 - I am pretty scared. I am staying at Grandma's because Alicia
said Mal had the gun and he was looking for me. I don't want to die. I can't
NOV. 17 - I wish that creepy guy would come around again. He used
to check on me every day, but when the cops heard about Mal's parents and
put him in juvenile hall, that guy stopped coming around. I think the cops
have the gun now.
November 17, 1996 is the last journal entry. The investigation was cut short
when the police confiscated the research equipment. Unfortunately, we were
unable to make any conclusions about today's kids because we did not have
a large enough sample for testing. In the name of science, we hope to repeat
the exercise after the police heat has died down.