Randy Shandis said it sickened even him to make such a wild accusation about Al "Foz" Fozano, but he said he felt momtivated by a myterious voice and a sense of justice.

Randy Shandis' depiction of Mother Teresa in Al Fozano's freezer.

"Nobody wants to be accused of stealing Mother Teresa's bones and stuffing them in his freezer like so many hamhocks, but I have to speak the truth," Shandis told reporters.

The truth, Shandis explained, in this case may have nothng to do with fact. Rather, it has to do with the fact that Fozano has been creeping up in recent weeks and polls indicate the two candidates are equal. "I need to knock Fozano down a few pegs," insisted Shandis. "And what better way than accusing him of such an unforgiveable crime?"

"You see, the end justifies the means. I learned that from Machiavelli, or Archie Comics. In this instance, the end is an Internet with more fee porn downloads, including live-streaming video of girl-donkey action."

There was no word from the Fozano camp on whether they would sue Shandis for defamation, even though six Supreme Court justices said they would support such litigation.


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