- While his opponent, Al "The Foz" Fozano, was plaing up his new anti-Monday campaign platform, Randy Shandis came out strongly in favor of Mondays and opposed to work.

"In fact, tell everyone I like Tuesdays too." Shandis continued, clearly hung-over from a late Sunday night of drinking games on his campaign bus, the Straight Sex Express. "The only people who hate Mondays are the folks who work for a living. Well, one of my campaign promises is that once I am elected, every man, woman and child in this country will receive dozens of opportunites through e-mail every week to make tens of thousands of dollars for little or no work. We'll all be rich off the Internet!"

Shandis continued his campaign promise. "You'll need no expereince, no sales required, and it's not a multi-level marketing scam. All you need to do is send six dollars to me, and add my name to a list and send it to ten frie... Aw, I'm giving it away here."

Reporters begged Shandis to further explain his money-making idea but he refused. "Nope, you're gonna have to elect me Mayor before I tell you anymore."

Shandis said that while he is pro-Mondays and every other day that can be used for "partying," he is currently strongly opposed to Al Fozano's face. "I'm sick of his stupid, ugly face. He's a stupidhead."

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