Mrs Filthy's Real World Review


March 13, 2001


Within the first moments of this episode, mes amis, the Road Rules team gloats over their recent victories. James beams that it "feels good to be on a winning streak." Actually, it feels great not to hear James whining for a change. Meanwhile, the Real Worlders are having a pity party complete with feelings of rejection and...juice! If I'm reading my Bunim-Murray rulebook correctly, this means that the Road Rulers are headed for a fall. Dearies, if you're looking for suspense this week, you'll find not a lick of it in this challenge.

This week's mission involves uniforms, submarines and a chance of drowning on a U.S. Navy submarine base. As soon as the two tidy-whitey officers appear in the tour buses (let's call them Mr. Salty 1 and Mr. Salty 2), the philosophical differences between the teams become apparent. From the instant Julie hears the bellowing of Mr. Salty 1, she feels "energized." Who would've thought that our little Mormon rebel would claim a "love for discipline?" Syrus makes a little speech about representing his country proudly. Even Dan plans to "hold his own with the military," and he's probably the least welcome person on the whole naval base. And that's counting Jamie with his rodent-shaped facial hair!

Meanwhile, the men of the Road Rules team are chafing against Mr. Salty 2's brutal regime. Because they were giggling after curfew, all three of them are forced to do 20 push-ups on the cold linoleum hall floor. In the morning, the guys get in trouble for leaving a messy room and for wearing their belts incorrectly. "It's not that I have a problem with authority, it's just that authority usually has a problem with me." Jamie explains. That's a statement straight from the mouth of a 20 year old, if ever I heard one.

So, it's interesting, to say the least, that the Road Rules team chooses Emily to be in charge of the mission. James says that the guys felt they needed a "loud and controlling girl" to lead the team in this challenge, but if they're experiencing authority issues with Mr. Salty 2, they're certainly going to have those same issues with Emily. If I were Emily, I would've run like the wind at this point.

Kameelah's in charge of the Real World team for this mission, which involves a simulated submarine rapidly filling with water. The situation is chaotic with lots of noise, panic and water shooting out everywhere. By the end, the Real Worlders are waist high in briny waves (and probably deaf), but at least the flooding is lessened. Kameelah says she feels good about their efforts, even if they didn't win, because they worked together as a team and accepted her authority.

Which is more than anyone can say for the Road Rules team. At first, it appears that they'll walk away with this victory at sea too, but the team communication unravels faster than the cut-rate panties at the TG&Y. Emily tries to get her teammates to get the pumps working, so that the water levels will sink, but no one listens to her. You just know that the naval officers are laughing their heads off at all the arm-waving and screaming going on in the simulator. "Das Boot" this is not, darlings.

So, the Real World teamwork gives them the victory as well as warm and fuzzy feelings for one another. Syrus gets the MVP for who knows what reason, and wins(?) a bunch of Sea-Doo merchandise. The Road Rules team is forced to re-evaluate their communication skills and authority issues. But, there's always next week for that, my bon bons.

Who's Topless: James and Christian have a topless slumber party. How very un-military of them!

Who Cries? Not a single salty tear this week, but there's lots of muttering and frustrated gesticulating, if you're interested. Oh, and push-ups.

Best Quote: "These people are denying me the right to tell them what to do!" huffs Emily.

Most Annoying: I'm going to choose the U.S. Navy this week, mostly because of all the yelling. I thought I was going to get one of my migraines, for heaven's sake.

Coming Soon: Rah rah rah! Sis boom bah! Cheerleading school! Ha ha ha!

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This Week, Mrs. Filthy's Reading:

Shudder Again: 22 Tales of Sex and Horror by Michele Slung (editor)