Mrs Filthy's Real World Review


February 27, 2001

Das Boot

I feel the need to clarify something, dearies. Ayannah is not, I repeat not, on Julie's team. But, the way Julie's taking her departure, Ayannah might as well be Julie's dear sainted mother. "Ayannah's leaving, and she's never coming back! " she weeps to a skeptical Jamie. Call me silly, but I don't even remember Julie hanging out with Ayannah. There weren't, as far as I recall, any slumber party scenes of the two girls giggling and painting their toenails, not a single scene of them shopping for chapeaus and sharing boy problems. Did I miss this blossoming sisterhood?

Or, could this little outburst be not entirely about Ayannah? Remember, mes amis, that Julie has just been booted out of BYU, and Ayannah's ejection is just another unwelcome reminder, another pointy finger probing the sore feelings of failure. Anyway, Julie goes to town with said feelings and annoys not just her own teammates, but everyone within shouting distance. Including we viewers, bien sur.

Her first task is to visit the Road Rules bus and to tell them that they all make her ill, because they let sweet, dear Ayannah leave. "To me, there's no loyalty on this bus!" she huffs. That's always an icebreaker! The Road Rules team stands by the director's decision, however. James even goes so far as to predict that Ayannah would've hit someone sooner or later no matter what happened. If I had my druthers, kids, that someone would've been James.

Julie's second task is to try to organize a boycott of the Challenge, but no one seems to be interested. For half a second, I had an idea that Julie would try to get the Road Rules team to boycott, so that they would forfeit all future challenges and Team Real World would emerge victorious. No such luck, though; Julie's sappy, not sneaky. Instead, everyone else moves on, and Julie is left feeling isolatedand just a bit superior. "I live my life differently than they do," she sniffs.

Faster than you can say "emotional roller coaster," Julie changes her mind about the whole boycott thing. Now she's more than willing to roll around in muck with dwarves in Ayannah's honor. I sure hope Ayannah appreciates this! The challenge this week, in case you thought you'd get away without one, is the olde traditional (they did it last year, too) Wheel of Wrestling. Thus the muck, thus the dwarves.

And Ayannah or no Ayannah, the Road Rules team trounces the Real Worlders mightily. James picks Jamie up and flips him over repeatedly; I suppose mud wrestling is just not "A-sport" enough for Mr. Jamie! Through a heroic display of willpower, Laterrian holds off the tag team composed of Syrus and Syrus' massive gut. And, all that talk about Julie being "a loose cannon" ever since the Ayannah Incident? Meaningless. Emily pins Julie quicker than two shakes of a lamb's tail (but not before some cutesy mud-throwing, hair-pulling and spanking- I thought I was back in juvie, for heaven's sake!)

The Road Rules team is just thrilled with their victory, even though Ayannah's considerable kicking power could've probably helped them even more in this game. Julie, however, is so lost that all she can do is babble and cry, "I'm sick of it!" What is "it?" In the words of cinematic rebels everywhere, "Whad'ya got?" To tell you the truth, though,I think our teary, moon-faced maiden just needs a nap.

By the end, of course, Julie has calmed down considerably. She's taken her nap and listened to some "Nature Sensei" jargon from Jamie. She's realized that all the crying in the world is not going to reverse her boot from BYU. And just in time, poor Susie from Road Rules Australia arrives to take Ayannah's place on the Road Rules team. Susie is just like Ayannah, except she's blonde. Oh, and perky. Oh, and she hasn't hit anybody yet.

Who's Topless: Zut alors! Wrestling brings out the toplessness in these kids. Not only do we see Jamie, James and Laterrian with pecs a-glow, but two male models without names and without looks make their wrestling debut.

Who Cries? Well, we can't watch Ayannah boo-hoo anymore, so Julie has to take up the slack.

Best Quote: After Julie rants to Jamie, he replies, "Someday you won't cry at the drop of a hat." I don't think that day is coming anytime soon!

Most Annoying: Julie proves her penchant for over-dramatization once again.

Coming Soon: Who knows? I had to watch some dumb commercial instead.

Want to tell Mrs. Filthy something?

This Week, Mrs. Filthy's Reading:

The Private Life of Plants by David Attenborough