January 16, 2001
Last week's episode ended with Syrus hanging by his toenails in the big rope-walking contest. We were left to wonder whether the Real Worlders would have to give up their places on the yacht, or as Laterrian calls it, the "big pimpin' boat?" To cut to the chase, my little honeybuns, yes. I just can't stand all this false suspense, anyway.
To be sure, it doesn't look that way initially. Syrus soon regains his balance. When it's Julie's turn, she practically begs the opposing team to pelt her with water bombs, out of sheer mocky cockiness. Then, when Road Ruler Christian disastrously loses his cargo, I prepared myself for more sullen whining from his teammate James. It seemed to be the pattern for the show, mes amis. However, once Laterrian and Ayannah heroically load themselves with dozens of water balloons, the tables turn. Christian the Norseman helps the Road Rules effort with his incredible aim, managing to get some good soaking shots at Kameelah and Jamie.
The Real Worlders fall to the Road Rulers by one point. We, dears, might just shrug our shoulders, but the close result is indeed a burden to the losers; as Syrus notes, "If I'm going to lose, kick my butt!" You'd think they were being sent to the gulag from all the moping. For heaven's sakes, they're only camping! Dan and Julie seem to adjust to their straitened circumstances the most readily, using the campfire time for deep discussions. Before you know it, darlings, Julie's divulging to Dan all the details of her Mormon melancholy.
The next challenge event has a prize of $20,000; suddenly, the yacht seems small potatoes next to cold hard cash. Each team has to pick their best male and female skiers for a wave-boarding contest; Team Road Rules chooses Emily and Christian, and Team Real World chooses Julie and Jamie. Everyone seems relatively comfortable with the arrangements, except Julie, who admits that she's a "virgin to wave-boarding." If you've ever wanted to see Julie fall down, my sweets, this episode will be mighty satisfying. In teeth-clenchingly cold water, too!
The Road Rules team takes one look at Julie's problems with gravity, and they're sure they've got this game in the bag. Julie thinks her confidence has completely dissipated, but then the big bomb is dropped: the skiers will be pulled by a big red blimp instead of a boat. What else can this poor girl do? She bursts into tears. Syrus says, "That's it. Forget about the loot." My, what team spirit!
The mere sight of the big red dirigible seems to rattle all the contestants just a little. Christian notes that he must be the first Norwegian to wave-board pulled by a blimp, but knowing plenty of Scandihoovians, I have my doubts. Anyway, the blimp-wave-boarding event goes smoothly enough for Emily, Jamie and Christian. Julie can't even hold on to the rope at first, even though she's trying to look pumped up and psyched and rah rah. But, she doesn't fall down even once. It's all very anticlimactic. The Real World team wins the big cardboard check, and Syrus miraculously changes his tune: "Julie was da bomb!"
With all the games over for the day, the kids are allowed to see their spanking new tour buseswith their photos on them, no less! Syrus beams, "I'm finally a rock star!" Or maybe he's just a guy riding a bus. The bus comes with all sorts of technological gadgets and toys a la Bunim-Murray. I think everyone will be drowning in gadgets by the end of the series; each challenge's MVP will get to spin a wheel and win yet more gadgetry. Julie is the MVP this time, so she wins a bunch of stuff with a Jeep logo on it!
But, even with her exhilarating success on the wave board and all the Jeep crap, Julie still has problems. BYU has decided to suspend her for one year, a decision she, after rational consideration, calls "stupid." Well, she doesn't want to go back to that lame school anyway. So there! As Julie tells Rebecca, BYU doesn't allow her to experience all the things she wants to experience, so she's better off without them. On the other hand, she laments that she can't be happy with the status quo. We'll have to see whether she bends Syrus and Kameelah's ears on this subject as well. I have the idea she's working her way through the whole cast.
Who's Topless? I didn't notice anybody without shirts, but they might have been out there. They were probably blue with cold, and therefore harder to pick out.
Who Cries? Julie cracks under the pressure to perform before the big wave-boarding adventure.
Best Quote: You know, this one is actually from last week, but I felt I had to highlight it anyway. Road Rules James mewls, referring to a contest that involved carrying little rubber balls, "If you guys (the Real World Team) have more deflated balls than us, doesn't that mean you cheated MORE?"
Most Annoying: James was so annoying last week, my irritation carried over into this week.
Coming Soon: James wonders about the ladyfolk, Laterrian
gets medical attention and everyone else dresses up as the villain
from "I Know What You Did Last Summer."