The 25 Best Aphorisms of the Millennium

What have been people been saying for the last 1000 years? More importantly, what have they been saying that's worth remembering? While Time Magazine is running a retrospective of "Where's the Beef?" we have the answer right here. Our experts selected the 25 best aphorisms of the Millennium, many of which have been translated from their original languages for the convenience of English-speaking world.

25. Reach for the Taste of Good Taste (50)
24. May the Force be With You- Obi Wan Kenobi (50)
23. Who 'Dat? -The New Orleans Saints (50)
22. Those Aren't Pillows- Unknown (50)
21. Crack Don't Smoke Itself- Traditional (50)
20. Never gamble more than you can afford to win- Bob Stupak (50)
19. We Want Choice. (50)
18. Panic is not an effective, long-term organizing strategy- Starhawk (50)
17. To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true- H.L. Mencken (50)
16. Life's like bacon and ice cream- Lou Reed (60)
15. Shut your yap or I'll shut it for you- Traditional (61)
14. Not counting our losses, we're ahead- Phil Fleischmann (65)
13. The past is a canceled check. Your maximum Point of Power is now!-Beck Hansen (70)
12. Life's like Sanskrit read to a pony- Lou Reed (70)
11. Life is like an ice cream cone. You have to learn to lick it- Charlie Brown (72)
10. Keep your feet dancing and keep your feet on the ground- Matt Weatherford from "Matt Weatherford's Teen Dance Party" (76)
9. We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness- Thich Nhat Hanh (80)
8. I don't want a diet; I want a live-it!-Richard Simmons (85)
7. Don't forget the cheese- California Dairy Board (90)
6. Never give a gun to ducks- B. Kliban (90)
5. Go with guts!-Lucky Ned (95)
4. Better dead than Red- Traditional (100)
3. True love is the devil's lunchbox- X (100)
2. Work is oppressive. Hard work is dehumanizing- Phil "Thrusters" Lawrence (100)
1. Idle hands are the devil's playthings- Traditional (200)

Other Impressive Things to Say at Parties
The World is a Masquerade Party- Unknown
Merry Christmas- Traditional
Eat Lots of Fish- Traditional
Live Free or Die- New Hampshire
Knick-knacks cloak misery- Matt
I'm for it! Amy and Andrea
Red sky at night, sailor's delight; red sky in the morning, sailors take warning- Traditional
It's only fun until somebody loses an eye- Mom
What the public wants is the image of passion, not passion itself- Roland Barthes (30)
Meats and Greens, Sinclair- Matt
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man- Hunter S. Thompson
Without Jesus you are eternal lost- From a scrap of paper Stinky found one day. It reads eternal, not eternally, which is what makes it a classic.
It's a fine line between genius and stupid- Nigel Tufnel
Speak softly and carry a big Johnson- a funny t-shirt
My cat's breath smells like cat food- Ralph Wiggum
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple- Oscar Wilde
The Moral Majority isn't either- Unknown
Call today! Ronco
Waste not; want not- Traditional
Everybody Wang Chung Tonight- Wang Chung

On to Other Lists


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Mrs. Filthy

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©1999 by Randy Shandis Enterprises. Questions or Comments?