Rocketship to Mars

For lunch you have an egg salad sandwich, heavy mayonnaise. This is just the way you like it. Also, because it is kind of gloomy outside and rain clouds are threatening, you mix yourself a big cup of hot cocoa. And on the side is a handful of Fritos from a bag you found in the kitchen. For dessert, as usual, you eat a couple of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. Finally, you wash it down with eight shots of Tennesee bourbon and a crate of Tic-tacs.

In the process of this meal, you have delayed your flight. You must now hurry to catch the Enzione.

Except...that you have no clean clothes and are plagued by the fear of having to go on a space conquest over immigrant Martians in soiled trousers. But what about the craft and your orders from the federation? You have a dificult choice to make:

Do you do your laundry, thereby delaying your mission but also probably solving the conflict peacefully thanks to fresh, crisp chinos?

Do you hurtle into outer space posthaste in the sturdy craft Enzione, damn the ketchup stain over the pocket of your flight jacket? Is it time to kick some commie-martian butt?