I keep hearing the analysts say the Internet is like an old gold mine. It's practically tapped out and the only people left trying to mine it are the grizzled veterans with nothing better to do. I disagree. I think the Internet is like a fine old bottle of wine, and I'm just starting to get drunk. Sure, the amateurs don't know how to make money, but I got ideas pouring out of my ears. Here are a few ways your old pal Mr. Shandis is going to make a mint.
I believe there is a strong demand for similar unwanted services on the Internet, the most efficient means for delivering garbage and anonymous threats. My new web site AButlerDidIt.com is a perfect example of cram technology. We reveal the endings to mysteries and movies people haven't seen yet. Readers go to the site, type in the title of the book they're reading, and we'll spoil it for them. Or customers can send the endings to book-lovers. What better way to tell a mystery buff "I love you" than by ruining her summer? Although nothing is set in stone and Amazon.com seems to have blocked my phone number and e-mail address, we are developing a strategic partnership with the online retailer. Anytime a customer buys a mystery novel from them, we will reveal the ending in an e-mail titled "Important information about your injured child!" You can bet those people will remember who we are. We will also send e-mail to random people, giving away the endings to mysteries and then telling the recipient "If you liked this ending, why not buy the book?"
How will this site make money? I'm not worried about that right now, and you shouldn't be either. During its infancy, AButlerDidIt.com will focus on becoming the dominant name in ruining people's good times. Our slogan, "What we do isn't illegal, just poor sportsmanship."
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I hope you now see that Mr. Randy Shandis is not just another boring executive. I'm a man on the go, making money and selling you the services you so desperately don't care about. I'm Mr. Shandis, and Bill Gates better remember that.
Who are we? ©1998 by Randy Shandis Enterprises. Questions or Comments?